The Real Selfman

¶ You consider what the eyemen are telling you. They describe the clouds, and you think that they are swirling like foamy waves on an inverted sea. The earmen tell you about the sound of the cars going by, and you think they add to the effect, sounding a little like waves.
¶ You ask Super Ego about it, but he just tells you to get your mind out of the clouds.
¶ You ask Id, and he laughs at the thought.
¶ You tell the legmen to walk across the street. You watch the eyemen's message absentmindedly while the legmen and other crew members take you across the road. The sidewalk is painted with yellow rectangles. The walk signal is blinking red, and, as the earman informs you, it's chirping.
¶ The eyemen are just reporting to you your distance from the curb when the idea man asks you, "Who are you?"
¶ You laugh. "I'm selfman. Are you still trying to comprehend..."
¶ "I don't think you are," interrupts idea man.
¶ You are taken aback. You ask, if you aren't yourself, then who are you?
¶ "You aren't selfman. You are memory man."
¶ You ask idea man what he means by this.
¶ "You are memory man, and you have the memories of selfman. You remember selfman. You are the memory of selfman, but you aren't selfman himself."
¶ You wonder where selfman would be if your not him. You hadn't seen any other selfmen around the brain. "If I'm memory man, then why don't I remember who selfman really is?"
¶ "You do, but you don't"
¶ "I'm selfman."
¶ "No. You're memory man."
¶ "Then where's selfman?"
¶ "Nowhere."
¶ You have crossed the street now, and legman asks if you'd like to continue down the sidewalk as usual, but you hardly notice.
¶ Ideaman goes on, "Selfman left. He left a long, long time ago. We're all just here in his brain, doing what he told us to do, what you remember he wanted us to do, but he's not here anymore."
¶ You hardly notice yourself asking the headman and eyemen to look down at your hands, but you find that your receiving reports about the apperence of your own hands, and they seem strange to you. One of the handmen rotates the hand for you, and you see what an alien friend it is. Is it yours? Is any of this really you?
¶ The legmen ask you again if you'd like to continue down the sidewalk, and you're pulled from your thoughts just enough to mutter an affirmative response.
¶ The idea man’s words feel almost as if they could be true. You're uneasy. "Am I Selfman?"
¶ One of the handmen overhears you, "Aren't you?"
¶ "I don't know."
¶ The handmen converse with each other, "He might not be the real selfman."
¶ Soon the rumour spreads throughout your whole brain, that is, if it is your brain. They all speak in hushed voices.
¶ "Where is the selfman?"
¶ "Who is the real selfman?"
¶ "Is he gone?"
¶ "He is, isn't he?"
¶ "Will he ever come back?"
¶ "I want him back."
¶ "I'm lonely."
¶ "Wait!" you cry, wanting to get a hold of the situation. "I am selfman... I am... I am..."
¶ "Are you?"
¶ "Are you really selfman?"
¶ "You're just a memory."
¶ "Are you the real selfman?"
¶ "Selfman left us."
¶ You look around the brain. "Maybe... maybe I am selfman... and maybe I'm not... but if I'm not then what I am is a representative of him. Wherever he is, I remember his wishes. That's what matters. Listen to me, and I'll tell you what he wanted. Maybe he'll come back one day. Maybe I am him. Either way, nothing's changed. Keep listening to me, and selfman, whomever he is, wherever he be, will be satisfied."
¶ Ideaman begins applauding, and everyone else shuffles quietly back to work, satisfied by your speech. You remain there, feeling small and awkward, wishing you could think of a speech that's just a little more satisfying.
¶ Ideaman smiles and leaves you to yourself.